I don’t discuss my Endometriosis with really anyone in my personal life.. if they ask I’ll tell them but I don’t discuss it because I’m afraid of being judged.
I’m afraid that people will think I’m being over dramatic or faking it even so I just don’t say anything at all. I just put a smile on my face and pretend I’m not dying inside.
But these past few weeks have been some of the toughest weeks of my life. The pain has gotten to the point several times where I just sat there and cried because what is wrong. I take all the necessary precautions, I’ve had surgery, I take birth control daily. Why is this pain back and seeming to be back with a vengeance?! It is knocking me off my feet.
The pain is bad but one of the struggles we really don’t talk about what comes along with the pain- I know I certainly don’t.. depression, anxiety, feeling so overwhelmed we go through a ton of emotions. And for someone like myself who doesn’t like to show anyone their emotions it’s extremely difficult. That’s what gets me the most (after the pain), knowing that I have to be strong and really just deal with it- the world isn’t going to stop but you can only be so strong for so long.
So if any of you feel as if my post lately having been mostly me complaining about the pain please keep in mind that this is my only outlet. This is my place I come too when I just need to let these feelings out and write. I share them because maybe there’s someone else out there that’s feeling the same way.. I know I hate feeling alone like I’m the only one going through this it’s good to know that you are not alone.
And to those of you who have supported me you have no idea how much you have helped these past few weeks, I’m so grateful and so thankful to have such a wonderful online community of amazing ladies (Endosisters💛)