A lot of times people ask me what is like to have Endometriosis and I always find myself giving the medical definition because sometimes I just can’t find the words to explain it.
Endometriosis is so much more than the medical definition. It’s physical, emotional, and mental “pain.”
Last night i had a terrible experience at one of the hospitals in my area. I won’t go into too much detail just the basics to get my point across.
I have been in major pain for a good week, well the past month but in the last week it has gotten worse and I have began to bleed this brown blood. So to be honest I was concerned because I’ve never dealt with a situation like this. I’ve never experienced this type of pain followed with this brown blood. I do have an appointment with a surgeon so I was trying to wait it out but last night I didn’t know what else to do. So I went to a local hospital in my area because for the most part I was concerned I was scared because it was something different from what I usually experience.
When I tell you the doctor or nurse practitioner not sure what she was, came in and totally dismissed me. She came in straight out talking about the opioid epidemic as if I was only in their for pain medicine. She began trying to explain to me that the ER is for emergencies and endometriosis is a chronic illness that I need to go to a pain management doctor for because it’s something I’ll be dealing with for the rest of my life.
OK CAPTIN OBVIOUS! Like I don’t know what Endometriosis is. She was completely rude and I have to say I have never experienced that kind of treatment. I was devastated. Because I went because I was scared something else may be wrong I wouldn’t have went if it was my normal endo pain. I have opioids at home, I didn’t need that hospitals pain medicine I need an examination which I have a right to.
That’s what Endometriosis is. Being totally dismissed when you are experiencing any kind of pain just because you have a chronic illness.
Endometriosis is feeling so depressed and wanting to give up because it feels like nothing you do is working.
Endometriosis is being accused of just wanting pain medicine. Literally like you are druggie just wanting drugs.
Endometriosis is people making you feel like this pain isn’t real. Like you are over reacting.
Endometriosis is having an online community that gives you more support than any health care professional ever will. Endosisters- people that i am so happy to have even though I may have never even met them the support I get from you guys is everything.
Endometriosis is knowing more about the medical definition than your doctors do. Because you have to, because clearly it seems no one will do it for you.
Endometriosis is going through a ton of different doctors, a ton of different appointments, a ton of scans, and a ton of surgeries just to find some pain relief.
Endometriosis is using a heating pad so long that you burn yourself. Falling asleep with a heating pad just so you can fall asleep even though that’s totally not safe.
Endometriosis is putting on a happy face because the world does go on and some days you just have to smile and say you’re fine even when you are dying inside.
Endometriosis is a bloody mess. Bleeding, bleeding all the time and when people ask when you’re last normal period was you reply with uhh never.
Endometriosis is being asked on multiple occasions if you will be able to have children. Sigh. You have to just reply with I don’t know. I won’t know until I try. But the thought you get every single time someone brings it up makes you sick to your stomach.
Endometriosis is feeling like you can never have a normal relationship because who wants to be with someone who is this broken and has this many issues.
I could probably go on and on. Because Endometriosis is so much more than people will ever know. The medical definition describes pain and while that’s true there is so much more that accompanies that pain. This illness is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.