Another one of my sleepless nights along with another rant post about my rollercoaster of a life. So thankful to have such an amazing outlet where I can write my emotions out and maybe help others in the end. Thank you all for dealing with my late night rant post 💛
My vagina feels like Satan is trying to rip it out, my cramps are so intense, my back is aching, and I’m sweating from my heating pads. I stayed up till 4 AM last night in pain and I slept till 2 in the afternoon today. I really need to wash my hair but literally when I took a bath tonight I had to sit on the floor afterwards because I kid you not just that took the life out of me.
Feeling mentally and physically exhausted is the worst, it is a feeling I can’t explain. My mind is so tired and so it my body.
I’m so restless.. and I’m frustrated with myself because I’m not doing the best in my class right now due to the fact that I have absolutely no energy to study or even concentrate for that matter. I just want to scream!!!! I’ve been in college for 3 years and I have never once missed a day of class until this semester.. I’ve missed 3, I know it’s not that many but it’s just so frustrating. Sometimes it’s impossible to be strong and push through it, sometimes my body doesn’t let me and I just have to listen. I hate feeling like a prisoner to my own body just because Miss Uterus decide she didn’t want to play by the rules.
I have to remind myself that I’m not alone. I have a community of women that have these exact same feelings. We can sometimes get lost in that feeling of being alone, that feeling that nobody understands, that feeling of being alone even when you are around people.
I really need to try and go to sleep so I can wake up and really study but I just know I’ll be lying here tossing and turning all night. I just hope this next surgery I’m having helps me in so way and also the other things I’ll be trying after the surgery.. I will be stoked for any kind of relief.